Desk Job

4.37pm

Eyes ageing.

Head throbbing.

Mouths yawning.

Nuerons dulling.

Phone ringing.

Hello?

Paper rustling.

Stapler stapling.

Pencil tapping.

Mouse clicking.

Ink spilling.

Oops.

Voices fading.

Chair creaking.

Door squealing.

Fan whirring.

Clock ticking.

Sighs.

Boss calling.

Ready?

No.

I'm not answerable

To anyone.

4.39pm

Calm After the Storm

Sometimes things go on and on, one after another, like the effect of a fallen bicycle on the entire bicycle stand, like dominoes. 


Things are loud, moving too much and too fast, bright, and annoying. People are in and out, money flows fast, disappointments and missed appointments are somewhat inevitable.

But the storm passes.You're only handed as much as you can handle, and things will stretch only till you can take it. 

There is comfort in the certainty that this is nature's way.

Wrong Side

I've grown up following the rules. Stayed on the right track as a child, in school, wanted to be approved by those I looked up to, those I studied under, and as I progressed, those I worked under. It's natural to seek approval from people around you - or so I thought. 


What I have realized on a day when I'm feeling the lows is that if you don't have your own approval, nothing you're doing means anything.

If you think you knew that already, think again. If your efforts seemed right to you when someone else blew them off, can you continue to believe your efforts were right?

Today, I woke up to rain, a dark room, stomach cramps, and an e-mail saying that I had disappointed someone. When they hit you all at one go, no matter how small the nails are, they make a sharp dent. 


You can't help thinking that your God woke up on the wrong side of His and Her bed. It can't be me getting out of the wrong side of my bed because it's up against a wall and only has one side; and if this is the wrong side then I'm getting down from it every day unless I move my bed to the middle of the room. 


And that's probably against Feng Shui principles.

Zeh ya'avor.